Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, Commonwealth v. McDonald, 1850

"The indictment alleged, that the defendant, on the 19th of May, 1849, at Boston, in this county, 'did attempt to commit an offence prohibited by law, to wit, did attempt, with force and arms, to steal feloniously and take and carry away from the person of a certain man, whose name to said jurors as yet is not known, his personal property then in his pocket and in his possession, the name of said property not being known to said jurors, and the value of said property not being known to said jurors, that being an offence prohibited by law, and in such attempt did then and there do a certain overt act towards the commission of said offence, to wit, did then and there, with force and arms, feloniously and with intent then and there feloniously to steal, take, and carry away said person's said property, then and there being in his pocket on his person, thrust, insert, put and place his said John's hand into the pocket privily and secretly of said man, without his knowledge and against his will, but said John then and there did fail in the perpetration of said offence of stealing from the person of said man, and was intercepted and prevented in the execution of the same, against the peace, &c.'"

Thanks, Shannon!

Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, Santry v. France, 1951

"In the winter of 1948, when the deceased was living with another old man in Lowell, he fell in the snow during a blizzard, and was helped into the house by neighbors, who put him to bed. The upper story of the house was not heated except by the heat from a gas oven in the lower story. The house was dirty and disorderly. After that experience, his mind began to deteriorate. He went about with his trousers unbuttoned."

[Not exactly long-winded, but amusing in an old-timey sort of way]

Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, Goggin v. New State Ballroom, 1969

"The plaintiff in this case chose on an evening not noted for restraints on exuberance in the city of Boston to go with his lady to a public dance hall where he knew the patrons were lovers of the cha cha and the jitterbug. He knew these dances involved muscular contortions and a degree of abandon not associated with a minuet. A certain amount of innocent bumping in a large crowd would be unavoidable. "

[In a footnote, the court describes this "evening not noted for restraints on exuberance" as "a day commemorated in Boston as 'Evacuation Day.'" It is known more widely as St. Patrick's Day.]

Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

"As for the Pyramids, there is nothing to wonder at in them so much as the fact that so many men could be found degraded enough to spend their lives constructing a tomb for some ambitious booby, whom it would have been wiser and manlier to have drowned in the Nile, and then given his body to the dogs."

John Woolman, Journal, c. 1750

“In the time of trading I had an opportunity of seeing that the too liberal use of spirituous liquors and the custom of wearing too costly apparel led some people into great inconveniences; and that these two things appear to be often connected with each other."

Alexander Hamilton, Federalist Paper No. 31, 1788

“Imagination may range at pleasure till it gets bewildered amidst the labyrinths of an enchanted castle, and knows not on which side to turn to extricate itself from the perplexities in to which it has so rashly adventured.”

Alexander Hamilton, Federalist Paper No. 7, 1787

“[Delinquencies in payment result from] the reluctance with which men commonly part with money for purposes that have outlived the exigencies which produced them and interfere with the supply of immediate wants."

G. Cochrane, Letter to Unk., 1766

"I should explain to your Lordship what is meant by crackers; a name they have got from being great boasters; they are a lawless set of rascalls on the frontiers of Virginia, Maryland, the Carolinas and Georgia, who often change their places of abode."

Charles Dickens, David Copperfield, 1850

"In consideration of the day and hour of my birth, it was declared by the day and by some sage women in the neighbourhood who had taken a lively interest in me several months before there was any possibility of our becoming personally acquainted, first, that I was destined to be unlucky in life; and secondly, that I was privileged to see ghosts and spirits; both these gifts inevitably attaching, as they believed, to all unlucky infants of either gender born towards the small hours on a Friday night."

Thanks, Ursula!